Starting from the Middle

Thoughts when left alone are rumblings in the night, shadows lurking in the dark caverns in our minds, the intangible, swirling mixture of feelings, images, and fleeting memories. When spoken, they take on shape, body, and form thrust into the light no longer capable of retreating to their murky origins. From the irreversible moment of voice thoughts become subjected to reason and reality as we know it. When we give our thoughts life through expression we then posses the ability to compare them to our perception of truth and deem whether the thought was as true and justified as we thought it was while we merely thought it or whether it is a warped creature, unfit for our lives and reality.

I've often heard people say that "it's good to get it out." Though I often I find they are referring to an extreme emotion, often loss or grief. It's as if that moment of expression makes the feeling real to an individual, brings the reality of whatever harrowing event crashing down upon them and though painful as it may be, it is necessary in order for the individual to move past it. I find this true for thoughts in general though, not just expressions of agony, but the thoughts and feelings in our day to day lives. In some strange way when we say what we think and feel the experience takes on a life of its own, metamorphosing into an entity that we can then pull away from and evaluate as if it's its own person and no longer apart of us. A scientist and their lab rat. And from that point we can then determine whether or not what we just said, expressed, was complete and total bullshit or actually had some truth, some factual basis.

This event, this method, is perhaps the most true when used against self-pity. So often when we let slip that whisper of a thought, that tiny hint in word that we're feeling sorry for ourselves, does it kick back at us and, only after vocalizing our feeling, do we see exactly how very foolish we're being and only then are able to let go the tiny scorch on our heart, getting on with our life. It's a necessary and, when done in the presence of others as so often we do it, humiliating evil.

As much as I wish to continue, I have someone eagerly anticipating my presence and must depart. The only thing I have left to say for this post is that I am a very lucky person.